"Sorry I couldn't talk earlier, but I got lots of time now!
Alright, so, of course, like i felt and did to Gio, I felt like Mark had some kind of ulterior motive to be with me, because who would want to be with me for me? right? Yeah, and I know thats not true but, i totally felt that way about it :/ and it happens sometimes. Also, as you know I'd told him what happened my sophomore year, and I let him in farther than I've let any other boyfriend in, and that scared the crap outa me, you know? I mean, the more you know about someone the more you have in your arsenal to hurt them with, and thats the way I saw it. It scared me, so I started pushing him away by attacking him, and I was starting all this shit with him the other night. I was trying to push him to the edges of leaving me and all this other stuff even though, like with Gio, I didn't want him to go. But I kept pushing and pushing. even though I knew it was wrong.
I figure its because I didn't learn from my relationship with Gio- history repeats itself.
Anyways, so the next morning I get a text from him basically saying he wanted to come by my house and get the stuff of his that I have.
So i was like "does this mean you're breaking up with me?"
and he was like "well yeah because I can't deal with your pointless arguing" and the fact that I can't believe anything he says or I think that he's lying all the time.
And for a while we argued about it and said some shit we didn't mean, and after I started feeling bad about saying those things, I apologized, and our conversation turned momentarily serious, and he said that he just couldn't date me if we had such chasms between us and stuff and I was like yeah i understand.
Then somehow we started joking around with each other, talking about Mermaids in my jeans and asshats and crazy funny shit, because the pressure of relationship status wasn't weighing down on me, and somehow I can always open up way easier to guy friends than boyfriends. And he started realizing what he was losing in me; all the things he liked and yada ya.
Then he started saying things mid texts about how he really didn't want to break up and how he really thought we could make it work, and the last text about it was actually really cute, he was talking about all the things about me he liked so much that he wouldn't get to have anymore, he said something like: "i'm really going to miss the massages, the face, the smile, the laughs, the tits and vag..... And the Farkle in the background" lmao that last part probably doesnt make sense to you so I'll explain, when I go to his house, He sometimes plays xbox so I sit on his computer and fuck around on facebook and usually end up playing this game Called Farkle. And he thinks the music this game plays when you fail is hysterical, and he makes fun of it all the time. But I thought that was the cutest thing ever "... And the farkle in the background" lmao!! Anyways, so he came over and we talked a while, and I didn't wanna break up and he didn't wanna break up cuz we're both too stubborn lol and we just decided not to. But when we were talking he was explaining how he felt about me, saying like, he knew he would never find a girl like me, you know, someone who liked anime, let him play video games without really freaking out, made him laugh, and just liked being around him. That was cute. Then he said something about how, how he felt for me was what a lot of people would consider Love, and I'm not sure if he was trying to tell me he loved me there or not.... But i just kinda made a face and let him get on with his little speech."
He just kept saying that I worked well with him, that we were good together and he couldnt find anyone within an outlining state radius, and If he couldnt have me, he didnt really want anyone."
Needless to say that bullshit is over and we're all good now.
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