"On a scale of 1 to 10, how serious are you about my brother?" Was Mark's sister's question to me a few weeks back.
Naturally, having only dated the guy a month and some weeks at the time, I didn't know how to answer such a question. Was she asking if I would cheat on him? The answer to that is "No", Was she asking if I was in love with him? Again, "No", Was she asking if I wanted to live happily ever after and get married to him or if we're soul mates, or if he's the one for me and I the one for him? No comment, because I don't know those answers yet. That one question was loaded with so many possibilities it made my head spin.
Before and since this question was presented to me, playful comments have been made about me and Mark living together, getting married, things of that nature, and for the most part I thought it was teasing, and not an expectation.
Apparently, Mark's mother, having met and gotten to know me, and see me around her son, has decided that I am the one for him and we're eventually going to move in together, get married, and probably produce some offspring. From the way that Mark's sister acts and talks about his and my relationship, she feels the same way.
I feel an over abundance of outstandingly unnecessary pressure to stay with him at this point. Like, if I don't the world is going to implode on itself.
I mean, I know it won't and what happens, happens, and if we don't stay together, everything will be fine, and it wasn't meant to be.
But all the same, I can feel that pressure squeezing down on me. I really like Mark, and I don't want to break up with him any time soon, but honestly, can I get a little space with the guy over here? I feel a little choked. Especially since what proceeded Mark's sister's question was, "Have you guys done it yet?"
Again, how do I answer this. Why would she want to know? I told her no, and she said good, and that I should wait a REALLY long time. I think she's cock-blocking at this point but you never know.
I mean, I don't mind talking to her about Mark, but at some point this has GOT to stop.
This pressure is completely uncalled for to me, I mean, I've been dating him for two months. I am by no means ready for "Til Death Do You Part" or a "Happily Ever After" with him. I want things to be simple. Goodness knows we both deserve some simplicity in relationships at this point.
And for the most part "simple" is how we roll.
But his family worries me.
Saturday, October 23
Wednesday, October 20
Ég er að læra íslensku
I am learning Icelandic (Translated on Google because I can't do proper sentence structure and verb conjugation and what not just yet.)
I'm going to be teaching myself to speak icelandic.
I think it will go well. But I don't know yet. It sounds/looks a lot like Danish, and the words were easy to figure out and pronounce so that was cool. I just wish I had a teacher.That would probably make things nicer and easier.
I want to keep studying it. I hope I can do like yesterday while i'm at school and pick out words and know what they mean just by looking at them and listening to them on youtube. Silly way to learn a language I know, but its not so bad. I'll probably only learn so much though, because you can't learn everything from youtube. But that's okay. They don't even have an Icelandic "Rosetta Stone" which is stupid considering they brag about having all the languages and junk in their bogus commercials. It's all okay though, I guess. "Rosetta Stone" is expensive as hell though.
I think studying Icelandic will be a touch easier than it would be because I've already studied a second language. I wonder if languages get easier to learn the more languages you know. Does that make sense? I wonder if the more languages you know, the easier they are to learn. The easier it is to learn new ones. That would be nice. I imagine that, to an extent, it would be harder with languages that are really similar, like Italian and French/Spanish. They're ultra similar, so I guess they'd get a little mixed up.
I'd also like to learn Russian and German. Maybe Italian.
I love how I always avoid Spanish, you know, the useful language in America :|
That's REALLY gonna bite me in the ass eventually. Maybe I wanna learn Finnish too, though, I imagine it's a lot like Icelandic.
Languages I wanna know:
French (which I already have a good/okay knowledge and understanding of)
Icelandic
Russian
German
Finnish
Maybe Italian
In all I wanna know 6-7 languages. Oh learning will be fun! If there are any courses at school I WILL take them! Well,maybe not ANY courses. My mama's got lots of German books. French ones too. This is gonna be awesome if I ever get to know these languages well.
I'm going to be teaching myself to speak icelandic.
Ég elska þig
I love you
I think it will go well. But I don't know yet. It sounds/looks a lot like Danish, and the words were easy to figure out and pronounce so that was cool. I just wish I had a teacher.That would probably make things nicer and easier.
I want to keep studying it. I hope I can do like yesterday while i'm at school and pick out words and know what they mean just by looking at them and listening to them on youtube. Silly way to learn a language I know, but its not so bad. I'll probably only learn so much though, because you can't learn everything from youtube. But that's okay. They don't even have an Icelandic "Rosetta Stone" which is stupid considering they brag about having all the languages and junk in their bogus commercials. It's all okay though, I guess. "Rosetta Stone" is expensive as hell though.
I think studying Icelandic will be a touch easier than it would be because I've already studied a second language. I wonder if languages get easier to learn the more languages you know. Does that make sense? I wonder if the more languages you know, the easier they are to learn. The easier it is to learn new ones. That would be nice. I imagine that, to an extent, it would be harder with languages that are really similar, like Italian and French/Spanish. They're ultra similar, so I guess they'd get a little mixed up.
I'd also like to learn Russian and German. Maybe Italian.
I love how I always avoid Spanish, you know, the useful language in America :|
That's REALLY gonna bite me in the ass eventually. Maybe I wanna learn Finnish too, though, I imagine it's a lot like Icelandic.
Random thought: What to they speak in Greenland? Greenlandic? I don't suppose so. I'll have to Google that quarry.
Languages I wanna know:
French (which I already have a good/okay knowledge and understanding of)
Icelandic
Russian
German
Finnish
Maybe Italian
In all I wanna know 6-7 languages. Oh learning will be fun! If there are any courses at school I WILL take them! Well,maybe not ANY courses. My mama's got lots of German books. French ones too. This is gonna be awesome if I ever get to know these languages well.
Answer to random question: Danish.
Monday, October 18
Math Squared
So, I got a hundred on the math quiz I thought I rocked last week on Friday, and a 98 on the homework worksheet. Now instead of failing at 45.4% I'm failing at 53.2%. That's almost a 10 point difference. I really think I can pull this one out at this rate, and the fact that I'll lose a quiz and homework grade. I'll be fine... I hope! If I keep studying hard and doing awesome on the quizzes and tests and stuff I'll be out of the ditch by the end of November. Once again: I hope.
Sunday, October 17
Romantic Moment from My Mouth
The look on Mark's face when I said "No, that was one of the things on my list." was a wonderful thing.
I was happily burying my face one of his clean shirts, fresh from his closet and then twisted around my hands, the one I've recently stolen, and he said something about how it wouldn't smell like him because he hadn't worn it yet. That was when I said "No, that was one of the things on my list." He got this particularly cute look on his face- intrigued and flattered, almost excited to see into my mind and part of what I'd blogged about him.
"You're made up of different smells. Completely different scents that combine to make you." And I poked his belly when I said "you" He smiled and I went on, touching different parts of him as I spoke about them, "your soap," I touched his face, "Shampoo," ran my fingers through his soft bark blonde hair, "Clean cloths" I felt and took hold of the hem of hist shirt, rubbing it between my fingers for a moment, "and of course your deodorant." I pointed to his armpits, not about to poke them.
He just smiled, and I smiled back.
Thinking on it I wish I had told him that I would take any of the pieces of his scent with me, But his cloths were easy and made it feel like I was wrapped up in him when I went to sleep. He may have smiled wider.
I was happily burying my face one of his clean shirts, fresh from his closet and then twisted around my hands, the one I've recently stolen, and he said something about how it wouldn't smell like him because he hadn't worn it yet. That was when I said "No, that was one of the things on my list." He got this particularly cute look on his face- intrigued and flattered, almost excited to see into my mind and part of what I'd blogged about him.
"You're made up of different smells. Completely different scents that combine to make you." And I poked his belly when I said "you" He smiled and I went on, touching different parts of him as I spoke about them, "your soap," I touched his face, "Shampoo," ran my fingers through his soft bark blonde hair, "Clean cloths" I felt and took hold of the hem of hist shirt, rubbing it between my fingers for a moment, "and of course your deodorant." I pointed to his armpits, not about to poke them.
He just smiled, and I smiled back.
Thinking on it I wish I had told him that I would take any of the pieces of his scent with me, But his cloths were easy and made it feel like I was wrapped up in him when I went to sleep. He may have smiled wider.
Saturday, October 16
Thursday, October 14
Surprises
After school I stopped at walmart on my way home to buy some school supplies for an extra credit opportunity in English, and the gobstoppers as an apology gift to his royal ever-so-right-high-n-ass. :] I was extremely excited, I love surprises, I love doing things for people that will make them smile and be happy, and this was something I could do for Mark that would make him happy and help him understand I meant it when I said I was sorry.
I went home and immediately got to work on the project at hand. It took some time to find the exact right wrapping paper to go around the gobstopper boxes, I wanted something brown, and at first I tried a brown paper bag but found that it was much too thick, so I moved to tissue paper. The first layer was black so that he wouldn't be able to see what I was giving him through the brown and the message I wanted to write on it.
I then put it in a small, shiny, blue gift bag, tied up the handles with curly white ribbons and made a tag that said "Mark" On the outside, and when you opened it it said "Open it!"
I knew that he would be home from work very soon at that point, so I got ready for work myself, and sped over to his house, driving like a total asshole all the way there because I didn't want him to beat me there and ruin the surprise.
I was absolutely giddy on the way there, my heart was racing and pounding, I was so excited for him to see! We hadn't really spoken all day so it would be 100 times better for him to get home and see that I'd apologized.
I pulled into the driveway just as I knew he would be let off from work, and ran in, placing the bag on the circular chair in his room, and ran back out.
It took a long time for me to get a message from him while I was at work, and after getting nervous that he didn't like it or thought it a weak attempt I texted him to see if maybe he just didn't say anything because I was working, or again, he thought my appology to be lame.
Not the case at all.
He said he'd stopped at his friends, and soon was on his way back home. I knew when he got there, because he sent me a text saying what a wonderful gift he'd gotten from someone, and how he forgave me and that He really loved the gift and the message it sent.
Success. :]
I went home and immediately got to work on the project at hand. It took some time to find the exact right wrapping paper to go around the gobstopper boxes, I wanted something brown, and at first I tried a brown paper bag but found that it was much too thick, so I moved to tissue paper. The first layer was black so that he wouldn't be able to see what I was giving him through the brown and the message I wanted to write on it.
Mark, You were right.
I'm sorry.
<3 Arielle
I then put it in a small, shiny, blue gift bag, tied up the handles with curly white ribbons and made a tag that said "Mark" On the outside, and when you opened it it said "Open it!"
I knew that he would be home from work very soon at that point, so I got ready for work myself, and sped over to his house, driving like a total asshole all the way there because I didn't want him to beat me there and ruin the surprise.
I was absolutely giddy on the way there, my heart was racing and pounding, I was so excited for him to see! We hadn't really spoken all day so it would be 100 times better for him to get home and see that I'd apologized.
I pulled into the driveway just as I knew he would be let off from work, and ran in, placing the bag on the circular chair in his room, and ran back out.
It took a long time for me to get a message from him while I was at work, and after getting nervous that he didn't like it or thought it a weak attempt I texted him to see if maybe he just didn't say anything because I was working, or again, he thought my appology to be lame.
Not the case at all.
He said he'd stopped at his friends, and soon was on his way back home. I knew when he got there, because he sent me a text saying what a wonderful gift he'd gotten from someone, and how he forgave me and that He really loved the gift and the message it sent.
Success. :]
I Was Wrong... But Only a Little
I admit it, I over reacted the other day. Why? I'm not exactly sure, but Mark was right. I hate letting him know that. I wiggged out a little because he was playing video games the whole time we were together and I was trying to get him to pay attention to me, and he wouldn't. He paid a little attention to me but didn't give me what I wanted.
"I'm sorry" He'd said, "It won't happen again."
"But it will." I replied
"What makes you think that?"
"You're a guy..."
"So now you're generalizing me." He said a faint questioning in his voice.
"A Little." I hummed into his chest as he held onto me.
He really didn't like that, he also said that he felt a little used, seeing as I wanted some "alone" time with him. He wondered if we had to every time we were together, saying he really likes to, but seeing as he was a little sore, he wasn't all that up to it. Later on I made the complaint that any time he wanted sex he had to have it and if I said no, he'd grump about it and say "You never want to" which makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong for not wanting to. So I do it, and don't get me wrong, I really love sex with Mark, but sometimes I don't feel like it. So like I said, I do it because he's paying attention to me and I like that. Once again, I wanna make it clear, I like sex with him so it's no big deal, I also like spending time with him whether or not he's necessarily paying attention to me or not. Sometimes I just want to be in the same place as him, so I don't care if we're not talking or doing something together, as long as he's around I'm happy.
He made a mention that I needed to be more demanding when I want something, but that's really not in my nature. He also took note to himself that he needed to be more demanding when he knew I need to calm down because I'm over reacting.
He's right, and sometimes I hate that.
I can easily admit when I'm wrong after a little thought on the subject, But right now I don't want to come straight out and say it.
I'm so used to boys siding with me when I'm upset, but Mark is a whole new ball of wax.
I think I'll buy him gobstoppers to apologize. Put them in a fancy bag and leave them on his door step or something...
"I'm sorry" He'd said, "It won't happen again."
"But it will." I replied
"What makes you think that?"
"You're a guy..."
"So now you're generalizing me." He said a faint questioning in his voice.
"A Little." I hummed into his chest as he held onto me.
He really didn't like that, he also said that he felt a little used, seeing as I wanted some "alone" time with him. He wondered if we had to every time we were together, saying he really likes to, but seeing as he was a little sore, he wasn't all that up to it. Later on I made the complaint that any time he wanted sex he had to have it and if I said no, he'd grump about it and say "You never want to" which makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong for not wanting to. So I do it, and don't get me wrong, I really love sex with Mark, but sometimes I don't feel like it. So like I said, I do it because he's paying attention to me and I like that. Once again, I wanna make it clear, I like sex with him so it's no big deal, I also like spending time with him whether or not he's necessarily paying attention to me or not. Sometimes I just want to be in the same place as him, so I don't care if we're not talking or doing something together, as long as he's around I'm happy.
He made a mention that I needed to be more demanding when I want something, but that's really not in my nature. He also took note to himself that he needed to be more demanding when he knew I need to calm down because I'm over reacting.
He's right, and sometimes I hate that.
I can easily admit when I'm wrong after a little thought on the subject, But right now I don't want to come straight out and say it.
I'm so used to boys siding with me when I'm upset, but Mark is a whole new ball of wax.
I think I'll buy him gobstoppers to apologize. Put them in a fancy bag and leave them on his door step or something...
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