Saying Goodbye Part 2

As we got closer and closer to the funeral home, my heart started to race. I started getting anxious and wanting to tell Nora to turn around and that I didn't want to go. But I never opened my mouth to say any of those things, so we found a lonely parking space, and walked in with some of the friends or family who knew her. I saw a few people I knew, and met Micki's Mamaw, who seemed a kind old woman. It took a little while for me to get through the door, but I followed a crying woman eventually, signed the guest book, took one of Micki's cards and moved into the main room. Seeing her on the other side of the room, still as can be made my eyes well up. I knew I would cry, and was surprised that I hadn't when I got out of the car. But I'd held strong til that moment. I stood in the middle of an aisle, just staring, crying, turning away, then looking back again. One of her friends came up to me, her face red and soaked with tears. We pulled each other into a hug. This girl was one of Micki's best friends, and was with her the night she died. She said that she was sorry, and I couldn't say anything back, she then told me that Micki absolutely loved me, and that she talked about me all the time. I started to cry a little harder and the girl pulled me back into a hug until she said she had to go find her mother. I was ashamed that I couldn't say anything, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I've apologized to her since then. She said it was alright, and she meant what she said. That was a bittersweet feeling.
It took a long time to get up towards the front after that. But when I saw a mutual friend of ours who had journalism with us and was part of our tight-knit group of 4. I went up to her for a hug, then when she went to see Micki's mom, Nora asked me if I wanted to go too, and I agreed because I knew I wouldn't get myself up there alone. Her mother cried and cried. It seemed like every person who came to give her their condolences was like hearing her daughter had died all over again. She sobbed the whole time I was there. I felt so awful for her. Next came Micki.
Seeing her in her pretty coffin, laying with her headphones a pink leopard stuffed animal, and various bracelets laced around her little wrists, just made it all the more difficult. It ached in every part of me to see such a lively and vibrant girl so still, to know that she would never grace the company of the room with her presence again, and that she wouldn't be there to make any of us smile...ever....
We stayed for a while, I was again stuck in the back, wishing that I could get off of my numb butt, and let my feet carry me over to her to say my final goodbye. Lots of people came and went from her coffin, and I stayed, Nora holding tight to my hand and shoulder, waiting for my decision, very patiently. I am very thankful she did, I know how funerals and such make her feel. And I'm so glad she stayed with me. After a while I choked out that I was waiting for the last couple people by her coffin to go, then I wanted to say goodbye and we could go. She helped me stand when it came time, and waited behind me while I went up to her coffin alone, and told her I loved her, I missed her already, and said my final, whisper-sobbed, tearful goodbye. When I was ready as I was going to be I turned, and Nora lead me back out to her car. She then bought me ice cream, and shared a memory of Micki she had. It was just one, but she didn't know her well, though she knew how special she was to me and wanted to cheer me up.

Poetry-like for the moment:
The moon watched as the sun buried its competition behind a pair of bright headlights. R.I.P. Micki. You will be remembered always.